"Few there are that will endure a true friend." ~ Henry George Bohn

I'm not rich (LOL!!!) or famous and definitely not a 'must have' as a friend, but at least with me, what you see is what you get. No act or two faced-ness and some would say overly direct and 'too' honest in my opinions.

That being said, I have always tried my very best to view others as an optimist, always giving the benefit of the doubt and always trying to see the best in others; until they fuck me up personally that is.

I have found one upside of being 'me' however.
That is that two faced pieces of shit avoid me like the plague for fear of being called out straight to their faces.

Of late I have been stumbling upon quite a few people who I know personally in real life who have quietly unfriended me on FB.
Yeah I know, it's only a social site and of no import, and let me make it clear that the act of un-friending is no big deal to me whatsoever.
What irks me is how they 'act' like my long lost friend when they see me in person, with all the fake "how are you's" and "we should have lunch 'ONE DAY'"!

To put it simply, cut the crap and man the fuck up why don't you? Stab me in the front for a change..

All I have to say about that is that I KNOW who my TRUE friends in this life are; who have helped me through thick and thin, and whose friendship I will treasure till my last breath, and I spot the 'fakes' a mile off.

"If you have one true friend, you have more than your share." ~ Thomas Fuller

I am blessed that I actually have a few very good friends who have helped me stand when all I wanted to do was lay down and give up.

Who have offered me a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen and good kick up my arse when I needed it!

And I wouldn't trade 1 of my true friends for a thousand fake plastic dog shits.

But that's just me. :)

So Long Suckers!

I think I'm afraid of dying.

No, I'm pretty sure about it. Took me a millisecond to confirm it.

Of late though, I think I'm more afraid about not dying well.
You know, like screaming like a scared bitch or crying out for your mama thingy.

Which of course is a result of the fear taking over and your mind getting paralysed with fear rather than the acceptance of your situation.

I mean put aside the worries of the well being of the loved ones you leave behind and even for that matter the age old mystery of the after life.

I'm talking about the very personal occurrence of your own death.
I seriously hope that I am able to grasp the situation and face my own death "like a Boss!".

Of course having put this thought and hope in writing for all time preserved in cyber space, I'd probably make the next day's front page headlines of the guy who screamed and died like a cowardly bitch in front of his disgusted family and friends.

I've always admired the old civilisations that wished their dying comrades "a good death".
However it could be a major con job by the Hollywood fantasy machine and no such crap ever happened in the history of the world.

(And maybe I watch too many movies huh...)

Like in 'The Last Samurai' the Jap guy (who was also in 'Inception') told his sister that her husband died a good and glorious death.

And another example is in 'Apocalypto' at the Mayan sacrificial altar, the blue men wished each other "Die well!".

I get the Samurai good death, as in dying in glorious battle, sacrificing your life for your people/clan/family blah blah blah..

But I have to say the Apocalypto scene really seemed stupid as shit to me at the time.

I mean you're about to get your heart cut out and shown to you followed by decapitation  and some half naked Mayan shit heads playing netball with your severed head.
How exactly do I "die well", fuckers?

(Yep, I watch too many movies!)

But I'm getting the gist of it lately.
I think it's more to do with checking out with dignity.

I mean think about it, who would you admire more?
A slouching sad guy complaining, whining and crying his way out the door, or a winking and smiling 'chap' tipping his hat while saying "So long suckers!" whilst striding out the door?

I kind of picture myself as the guy who is being 'escorted' out the door by 2 hard ass bouncers and I steal a smile to the mobster boss' hot girl and give everyone else the middle finger as I step out the door.

See you on the other side, suckers!

Drama roll please! Ba Dum, Tiss!

So I'm back.

I actually turned myself off blogging after reading my last post. But I promised myself that I wouldn't censor or delete whatever came out of my heart and mind at the time of writing so I left whatever was written there for the world to read, judge and whatever.

I'm basically a positive person but I've noticed an underlying negativity that seems to seep out in my blogging. (and the masses scream out "You think???"...)

So in this 2nd half of 2013, I'm going to be making a conscious effort to leave out the drama, self doubt/loathing not only in my blogging but in my very perception of me, myself and moir.

Just got myself an iPad (2nd hand and old model) and wonder why I didn't get one sooner. 

Makes my work so much easier and am finding blogging on this to be a joy. And just in time too, coz my pc crashed and life almost lost meaning to my nerdy mind at the thought of not being able to go online! 

Lol, sad sad sucker of an Internet junkie... ;)

Life Force(d)

I was one of those people who have always loved kids. At 18 when my buddies were just trying to get laid, I was imagining what my kids would look like and thinking of names for them.

I knew deep down that there was something a bit off tangent in the way I thought and felt but still I went on fantasizing about having kids of my own. People who I shared this with always told me to bide my time and that I was right to think that having children was the best feeling in the world and about how they inspire you to be a better human being and blah blah blah...

Like so many idiots with their heads up in the clouds I was in love with the 'idea' of seeing the fruits of my loins made flesh before my eyes.

 I had no fucking inkling that it was a lifetime gig you didn't walk away from and that essentially your life as you once knew it, was over.
Well, you 'know' it of course, after all you have 9 or so months to get used to the idea of it. But the reality (and maybe gravity) of your situation starts to dawn on your ass when you realize that the person you'd always thought you'd be, things you always thought you'd have, places you always thought you'd go, are now either improbable or impossible.

Example: Never in my wildest dreams did I ever envisage myself a single dad (ala soccer mum) sitting outside a school waiting for children of my own.

One thing 'they' never tell you, is how your offspring will eat your dreams of grandeur and drain your energy like 'Lestat' (the non sparkly type vampire for those out of the loop) sucking the blood from a Creole whore in New Orleans.

With my 42nd birthday racing to choke hold me at speeds of light, it was supposed to be recording '3 albums at a time' contracts, sold out concerts all the time and Limo rides to the Grammy's with groupies by now.

Instead, it's washing 3 bums after they take a crap, sold out my pride and dignity some time ago and practically a school bus driver fitting in nicely with groups of other loser dads.

Take today, Wednesday, for example.

All 3 of my boys finish school in 3 different time zones.
The period between each final bell is not far enough apart that I can leave each time one of my boys 'decides to come out and grace me with his presence', but long enough for me to bake medium to well done in 40'C temperatures depending of course on cloud formations.

The fact that my car air condition is busted is just the whipped cream on my yummy bowl of dog shit served by life.



I sometimes wonder: If I had 'that DeLorean', would I change a single thing?



Not a single fucking detail.




Well, maybe my car's air con would work.


That would be nice.