So Long Suckers!

I think I'm afraid of dying.

No, I'm pretty sure about it. Took me a millisecond to confirm it.

Of late though, I think I'm more afraid about not dying well.
You know, like screaming like a scared bitch or crying out for your mama thingy.

Which of course is a result of the fear taking over and your mind getting paralysed with fear rather than the acceptance of your situation.

I mean put aside the worries of the well being of the loved ones you leave behind and even for that matter the age old mystery of the after life.

I'm talking about the very personal occurrence of your own death.
I seriously hope that I am able to grasp the situation and face my own death "like a Boss!".

Of course having put this thought and hope in writing for all time preserved in cyber space, I'd probably make the next day's front page headlines of the guy who screamed and died like a cowardly bitch in front of his disgusted family and friends.

I've always admired the old civilisations that wished their dying comrades "a good death".
However it could be a major con job by the Hollywood fantasy machine and no such crap ever happened in the history of the world.

(And maybe I watch too many movies huh...)

Like in 'The Last Samurai' the Jap guy (who was also in 'Inception') told his sister that her husband died a good and glorious death.

And another example is in 'Apocalypto' at the Mayan sacrificial altar, the blue men wished each other "Die well!".

I get the Samurai good death, as in dying in glorious battle, sacrificing your life for your people/clan/family blah blah blah..

But I have to say the Apocalypto scene really seemed stupid as shit to me at the time.

I mean you're about to get your heart cut out and shown to you followed by decapitation  and some half naked Mayan shit heads playing netball with your severed head.
How exactly do I "die well", fuckers?

(Yep, I watch too many movies!)

But I'm getting the gist of it lately.
I think it's more to do with checking out with dignity.

I mean think about it, who would you admire more?
A slouching sad guy complaining, whining and crying his way out the door, or a winking and smiling 'chap' tipping his hat while saying "So long suckers!" whilst striding out the door?

I kind of picture myself as the guy who is being 'escorted' out the door by 2 hard ass bouncers and I steal a smile to the mobster boss' hot girl and give everyone else the middle finger as I step out the door.

See you on the other side, suckers!